All of us want to be loved. We want to find someone to share our lives with. And there is nothing wrong in wanting to find a life partner, someone to live the rest of your life with. God did not create us to be isolated; on the opposite! In Genesis 2, we see that God created man, Adam, and He put him in the Garden of Eden. It was a beautiful garden, and man had the mission of taking care of it. However, in Genesis 2:18-24, it is written:
“Then the Lord God said: ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him’. So, the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose the name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. ‘At last!’ the exclaimed. ‘This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called woman, because she was taken from man’. This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one”.
In those verses, we see that God created man; then, He created woman, to be his helper. When God created the first human beings, man and woman, Adam and Eve, He established a relationship between them. God did not put them in separate places of the garden, for them to live apart from each other! When God created woman, He created her to be a helper for man; He created them to be husband and wife. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, it is written: “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated. But two can stand back-to-back and conquer”. So, it is good to be married!
However, everything should be done in the right way and in the right time! For example, sex is good, but it is for married people! If you are single, you should abstain from having sexual relations; instead, you should invest your time, going deeper in your relationship with God. Spend your time as a single person, going deeper on who He is and on the plans He has for your life. Sometimes, because you are still single, some people will try to make you feel bad about it; others may tell you that you are already too old to get married. And, sometimes, you may even feel that you are never going to be loved by anyone. However, you need to have in mind that you already found the love of your life; that one is God!
In John 3:16, the Bible says: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life”. God loves you so much that He sent Jesus Christ, to give you salvation and a new opportunity of life. God cares for you. Jesus Christ died on the cross for your life! In Hebrews 13:5, God has said that He will never leave you nor forsake you! He will NEVER leave your side; He will NEVER disappoint you. That is the biggest and the strongest kind of love you will ever find in your life.
However, as I said before, it is natural to desire to find someone to get married. And God is more than willing to satisfy the desires of your heart. You can open up to Him about your desires. You can sincerely talk to Him, because He wants to hear you. He is willing to fulfill the desires of your heart; however, you need to ask! And you can ask! If you accepted Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of your life, God is your Father, an amazing and almighty Father! As you spend time with God, having a closer relationship with Him, He is also going to show you things about your life that you need to improve, in order for you to be ready for a relationship. Before finding someone who is right for you, you need to be the right person for someone. What does it mean?
You need to be ready to be in a relationship. Sometimes, we try to rush into things; however, if you are not ready yet, it is a waste of time to try to rush into a relationship. It may bring disappointments to you and to your partner. You need to understand who you are and what you want in life. You need to ask yourself: “Am I ready to make a commitment with someone?” The role of the wife in a marriage is to be a helper for the husband. Are you ready to be a helper, to support your husband in his decisions? If you are not ready for those things, you are still not ready to be in a relationship.
However, I am not telling you this for you to be sad or disappointed! Now is the time for you to change those things about you, for you to get to know more about yourself! For you to get to know what you want for your life, what kind of things you like and what things you will appreciate in a husband. While you are single, it is the time for you to understand what you are seeking in a marriage and in a husband. It is time for you to understand your future role as a married woman. And God can help you! He can help you to find those things inside you and He can help you to comprehend things about marriage that you do not comprehend yet.
And you may ask: “But how will I know if someone is the right person for me?” First of all, there is no such thing as “the right person for you”; God did not create a specific person for you to get married. However, He can guide you to find the person who can be the most compatible to you. In order to enter into a relationship with someone, you need to check if that person has the characteristics you are searching for in a partner; I am not exactly talking about physical traits, but his character! Does he respect older people? How does he treat his parents? Does he have principles and does he follow those principles in his life? How is his work ethic? Does he have goals in life? It is important for you to evaluate those things, because if he fails in one of those aspects, most likely, he is going to fail with you during marriage.
Another thing that is important for you to understand is that you do not get married or find someone to be happy. Nobody can make you happy! You can just find true happiness and joy in your relationship with God; Romans 14:17 says that the kingdom of God is living a life of goodness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Human beings were created to have an everlasting relationship with God; therefore, you can only feel complete, without anything lacking, when you are connected to God, because you were designed to be connected to God. You need to find your true happiness before marriage, instead of waiting for someone to make you happy. If you rely on someone to be happy, you will be disappointed, because the other person may not fulfill your expectations. You do not get married to be happy; because you are happy, you get married. In a relationship, when husband and wife are connected to God, they will have a joyful life and a solid marriage, because they have a solid foundation in their lives and in their relationship. That solid foundation is God.
You need to be strong in who you are in Christ; that way, with Him, you can be guided on what to do and what not to do in a relationship, in your marriage. With God, He can guide you on things you need to learn before marriage. God can teach you things about yourself and He can show you things you need to change inside you. God can guide you to the person who will be the most compatible to you.