When I arrived in Japan, Jefter was already doing missions here. I came to add to his mission. Later, Satsuki came to add much more! That is the way we should look at ourselves: as part of God’s dream team!
When I decided to get married to Jefter, some people asked me if I really had the courage to move to the opposite part of the globe, to live with a man with whom I was having a long-distance relationship. For some people, this decision seemed so risky! What if we did not get along so well? What if it was a mistake? I would just be too far from “home” (my parents’ house) to ask for help.
However, the courage to marry a missionary and go to the other side of the Earth did not come from me. It came from the Holy Spirit living inside of me! When I said yes to his proposal, I had a very clear sense of purpose inside of me. Obviously, I was in love with Jefter but that is beside the point here! I had a clear knowledge that there was a Godly purpose in marrying him. And that sense of purpose is what has been guiding me throughout those years here, even in the midst of so many challenges caused by adaptation.
When we look too much at ourselves, we see too much of our own qualities and limitations, or we tend to get frustrated and lose focus or we start thinking we are better than others. When we look too much at ourselves, we tend to forget that God is the sole source of our strength, because we get too focused on what we are able or not to do by ourselves. Being in a foreign country with limited communication skills shows me daily that this mission is not my own. To be honest, if I was dependent on my own strength, I might have given up already!
During those years, countless times I have asked myself if I was indeed being a helper to my husband in his mission. Countless times I felt powerless on my own. Countless times I felt like I was not really assisting my husband due my lack of proficiency in the language; in fact, countless times, I felt more like a burden, by depending too much upon him to assist me communicating outside our house.
However, everytime I started feeling like a burden, God would remind me of my role at the church and my role in our marriage. He would remind me of my importance. More than that: God would always remind me of that sense of mission as part of the team called to fulfill the mission that was (and still is) in my husband’s heart for Japan. I cannot give up! I cannot be defeated by those thoughts, because my strength does not come from myself, but from God!
We have to maintain our minds and hearts focused on God, always nurturing the purpose He had put in our hearts. We should be focused on living purpose driven lives! That is the recipe for not letting frustration entering our hearts! Looking too much at ourselves can lead us to doubt our decisions. What if I was hearing God’s directions all wrong? Instead of being confident, we let ourselves be fearful; and it can paralyze us.
You do not want to drift away from God’s directions for running too fast, but you also might not want to lose God’s timing by being stuck on the same page for too long! God said something to Apostle Paul that is true to us as well: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). The grace of God can guide us, strengthen us and give us the necessary power to fulfill His calling for our lives.
We were not designed to depend on our own strength! We were designed to be inspired by God! When we look at our own strength and capacity, we get frustrated. And the devil uses those moments to come to us with thoughts, showing us that we are not sufficient and making us doubt if we are really being guided by God.
So do not look at yourself! Look at God! Look at His grace! Look at His goodness! Do not allow frustration to dwell inside of your heart, paralyzing you and making you give up following His will for your life! Do not let yourself saying things, such as: I cannot; I do not want; I am not enough. By ourselves, we will never be enough! Only God can make us succeed! Look at Him!